Bringing Authenticity into the Workplace with Joanie Connell

144-joanie-connell Podcast with guest Joanie Connell

What do you like doing?

Does it make an appearance at your day job?

Bringing more of yourself and who you are at your core into your workplace should be mandatory.

Being authentic in your life and career is more beneficial to your success in your career than being a certain persona that your career molds you to be.

Like It or Not, Trump Is Your Kids’ Role Model

young-male-face-2-1428084-639x514An eighth grade girl had a concussion and dropped her books at school.  An eighth grade boy walked by her and laughed at her in front of his friends.  Did any of them stop to help her?  No.

As parents, we’re mortified to know our sons and daughters are going to school with people like this.  Yet, we turn on the TV and see Trump mocking Clinton for stumbling when she’s ill.

How are we supposed to instill the value of treating people with dignity into our children when they see high profile leaders behaving like bad kindergartners?

Role Models

Indeed, “the Trump effect” has been identified as a cause of bad behavior at school, but mean behavior is much more pervasive than that.  Reality TV is the archetypal example of mean behavior in the popular media, with Trump as one of the meanest television hosts. But the contestants themselves are goaded on to be mean too.

Even seemingly benign kids’ shows on the Disney Channel turn mean behavior into fodder for sitcoms.  Jessie is one of the worst I’ve ever seen, presenting comedy in the form of a 12-year-old rich girl belittling her nanny for wearing inexpensive clothes.

Albert Bandura’s famous 1960s Bobo doll experiment illustrated how children learn aggressive behavior by observing adults behaving aggressively.  In the experiment, children tended to imitate an adult who was praised for beating up an inflatable Bobo doll.

Whether fiction or reality, on TV or at home, kids pick up aggressive behavior from the adults they see modeling it.  Therefore, it’s up to us, as adults, to model respect and dignity if we want children to learn it.  We cannot rely on schools to teach it to them; we must show it to them.

This means we have to check our own behavior.  What are we saying?  How are we treating others?  What are we watching and laughing at?  Are we calling others on it when they disrespect someone?

Dignity

Donna Hicks wrote the book on dignity, with that very name.  She defines “dignity” as “our inherent value and worth as human beings; everyone is born with it.”  She contrasts dignity with respect, saying respect is earned through one’s actions.  In other words, people don’t have to earn dignity; it’s inherent in being human.

“The desire for dignity is universal and powerful. It is a motivating force behind all human interaction—in families, in communities, in the business world, and in relationships at the international level. When dignity is violated, the response is likely to involve aggression, even violence, hatred, and vengeance.” –Donna Hicks, Ph.D.

It doesn’t have to be an “us vs. them” world out there.  If we honor that inherent desire for dignity as we interact with people, we will likely get it back.  Even if we don’t, we’ll be teaching the next generation of leaders how to treat others with dignity for the future safety of our world.  If we don’t start, bad things are likely to happen.

The Quarter Life Crisis

puppy-2-1379050I saw the play Tiger Style! last night.  The story is about two seemingly successful 20-something Harvard grads who are actually falling apart inside.  As a doctor and a computer programmer, they both have achieved success in their parents’ and society’s eyes, but they are in crisis because they don’t know who they are.

They blame their parents for promising them success and assuming happiness came along with it if they dedicated their lives to achievement.  But when they are finally in these high-status, well-paid jobs, they realize they never stopped to figure out if this is what they wanted along the way.  Indeed, these empty careers mean nothing to them.

Who am I?  Where does love fit in?  Where’s the fun?  What’s this all for?  These are the questions of the “quarter life crisis.” 

The quarter life crisis is a newly coined phenomenon, an accelerated form of the midlife crisis.  Why is it happening?  Why are so many 25-year-olds having identity crises that there’s a new name for it?  Because this generation of kids was never allowed to explore their identities during adolescence.  Instead, they were directed (and often pushed) into the singular path of going to the best college they could get into.

The fallacy of the college dream is that it assumes this path leads to happiness and success in life.  Sadly, it’s taken a generation of 20-somethings in crisis to show us the error in our thinking.

College is one path to success and happiness in life.  It is not the path.  There is no one-size-fits-all solution to success and happiness in life.  Each person has to figure it out along the way.

Probably one of the biggest disappointments in life is when your child wants to do something different from what you want them to do.  Face it: there is a good chance that will happen to you, no matter how much your force your dreams down their throat.  They are their own people and they have to figure it out for themselves.