The BizWiz podcast is a short, 15 minute interview on a targeted business issue. In this episode, Doug Sandler interviews Joanie Connell on Millennials at work.
Questions you’ll get answers to:
- How are Millennials changing the way people do business?
- Why is there so much friction between the older and younger generations?
- What are some of the myths or stereotypes about Millennials that need to be debunked?
- As business leaders and entrepreneurs, what trends do we need to pay attention to that aren’t just passing fads?
- What does it take to be a successful leader in a Millennial world?
- Why are Millennials facing midlife issues so young? How is it affecting their careers?
- Millennials aren’t kids anymore. Many are in their 30s and some are approaching 40. What kinds of challenges are they facing as they approach midlife?
Women leaders are scrutinized at work for how they handle emotional situations. To be successful, follow these five tips to improve your emotional finesse.
- Be emotionally flexible
One of the biggest challenges for women leaders is to navigate the fine line between being “too strong and decisive” (a.k.a. masculine) and “too friendly and nice” (a.k.a. feminine). Eagly and Carli call this the “double bind” in their book, Through the Labyrinth: The truth about how women become leaders. In other words, it’s important to be able to flex your leadership style and hence your emotional expression. Learn the contexts in which expressing warmth is beneficial and when stern would be a better approach. Learn which people need friendliness and have earned your trust and which people would do better with a firm handshake. Practice being able to move in and out of these modalities so people respect you as both a leader and a woman.
- Acknowledge the limitations of rational thinking
“But it’s a rational decision!” “Why don’t they see it’s clear from the data?” Even rational, data-driven decisions involve emotions. Data can be disappointing and saving face might be important. Emotions are there whether we like it or not. Assuming people will check their emotions at the door is like wearing blinders into the workplace. By acknowledging that emotions are present, you are taking more information into consideration when you plan your strategy and make decisions. The book Emotional Intelligence 2.0 is a great resource.
- Look for signs of emotions
As a leader, it is particularly important to take note of where others in the room are coming from. Are they in agreement? Are two team members not getting along? Does your team suffer from a lack of motivation? Use your senses to “feel the temperature in the room.” The first sense is sight. Use your eyes to see how are people are sitting. Are they slumped back, facing away from each other (or you), avoiding eye contact, crossing their arms, or frowning? This is valuable information for you to use as you try to influence the team. If there’s a lot of negativity in the room, you’ll need to start from a different place than if people are in alignment. Too many leaders skip this step and find themselves floundering in deep water without understanding why.
- Learn how to talk about emotions
It’s hard to talk about emotions and most of us aren’t very good at it. Moreover, as women leaders, we may fight the temptation to talk about emotions to avoid being negatively stereotyped. But it doesn’t have to be that way. Women (and men) who are able to articulate their own and others’ feelings tend to be effective leaders because they connect with people and manage difficult situations. Talking about emotions doesn’t have to sound soft. Look at these examples. “That sounds frustrating.” “I’m anxious about the upcoming deadline.” “I’m really glad you’re back. We missed you while you were gone.” “It’s crushing to lose a sale that big. How are you handling it?”
- Allow people to express emotions
Have you ever been in a meeting where nothing got done because there was an underlying tension that kept people from being productive? Sometimes it helps to start a meeting with a 10-minute check-in or vent. If you give people a chance to let it out, they can get it out of their system and move on and stay focused. The key to success in this situation is to close the vent or celebration session and tell people it’s time to get down to business. Usually, people are calmer and can move on. If someone is holding on, however, you may need to invite them to take a break and come back when they’re ready or offer to set up a one-on-one after the meeting.
Do you agree with this? It’s harder to turn someone down than to be turned down.
By the way people communicate these days, it certainly seems true. Take, for example, the number of times you’ve emailed someone and they’ve failed to reply. Have you done that to people too? Face it: it’s easier to say nothing than to say “No thank you.”
But how does it feel to be ignored?
Not good. When you’re ignored you don’t know why. Is it that the person is really busy? Did they not get your message? Were you not important enough for them to even read it? Did they consider it and decide not to reply? Did they consider it and forget to reply? Continue reading The Art of Turning Someone Down
By Joanie Connell
On May 21, we taught the first Rady School Center for Executive Education (CED) course completely in the VirBELA virtual world. The course was aptly titled “Managing High Performance Distributed Teams” and we had participants as far away as England in VirBELA with us. Guess what happened?
Rady Exec Ed Program Recap: Managing Distributed Teams using VirBELA Virtual World
A colleague told me just today that a client paid for him to travel to have face-to-face meetings because they believed the results were much higher quality than phone meetings. After he flew all the way across the country for a few hours of meetings, he said it was worth it to get that extra level of interaction.
We often take advantage of current technology to communicate instead of making the effort to get together face-to-face. Even talking can be too much effort. People have told me on multiple occasions that they prefer texting to talking on the phone. But we are missing out on a lot of information when we interact via technology. Some situations benefit greatly from good old face-to-face interaction. Building trust and resolving conflict are two such situations. It may be inconvenient—and expensive—to get together in person, but the time and money saved in the long run is well worth it.
I interviewed a group of industrial design engineers at a multinational company to find out why they preferred to meet face-to-face, even when it involved international travel. The engineers said there were many benefits of meeting face-to-face. These included:
- personal growth (travel and learning)
- ease of interacting remotely after meeting face-to-face
- obtaining a “sense” of the other person
- seeing what others are trying to accomplish
- facilitating teamwork
- establishing personal relationships and friendships
- building trust
- seeing others’ reactions
- seeing eye contact and body language
- clearly focusing on the problem without distractions
- resolving issues
- having quick access to decision-makers for approvals.
Some people think old-fashioned communication skills are not needed in the modern world. But don’t forget that people are people. We still need to interact, understand, and connect with each other. For all these reasons and more, it’s a good idea to hone your face-to-face communication skills.
By Joanie Connell
A mom confided in me she had gotten so frustrated with her 7-year-old daughter that she started crying. She said that once her daughter saw her crying, her daughter immediately stopped misbehaving and came over and held her to comfort her. The mom was beating herself up for letting that happen, but I offered a different perspective. Look at what the daughter learned from that experience. Her behavior frustrated someone so much that it led them to cry. When someone cries it’s good to comfort them. And, the mom got over it and was fine after that. How empowering to the daughter to see how someone can get upset and get over it. How educational to understand how her behavior can affect the emotions of others and vice versa. Continue reading Emotional Intelligence Improves Millennial Communications at Work