Tag Archives: empowering millennials

Adulting: How do young people learn life skills?

Flying without a Helicopter Book Cover finalI came across an article in the LA Times today about how college students at UC Berkeley have started up an “adulting” course.  They created a student-run course to teach life skills to each other because they’re not learning them anywhere else.  The question is, why aren’t they learning life skills in life?

One of the students interviewed for the article says that kids don’t learn life skills from their parents because parents don’t trust their kids to be able to handle things.  The parents do it for them.  Schools have also taken life skills off the curricula in favor of academic courses preparing children for standardized tests.

My take on this is that the kids must resort to teaching each other adulting skills because all of the adults in their lives failed to prepare them for adulthood.  Parents, teachers, professors, administrators, and government protection agencies have disempowered children to the point where they don’t know how to take care of themselves when they grow up.

Presumably, these adults had good intentions to protect the children and give them the academic skills they thought were needed to succeed in life.  Or is it that they felt the need to control their children’s lives to fulfill their own insecurities?  In either case, the outcome is the same: many young adults are missing critical skills to succeed in life.

It is troubling to see that the college students don’t trust the adults, just as the adults don’t trust the kids.  And we wonder why there’s such a strong generational divide!

I offer a small solution, my book, Flying without a Helicopter: How to Prepare Young People for Work and Life.  I wrote this book because I saw how this problem was arising and I wanted to help young people (and their parents) prepare for life.  I’m there for young people and old.  If you want to talk, schedule a meeting with me, free of charge.  I am an adult who supports adulting.

Another solution I offer is building trust between the generations.  My Collaborating Across Generations workshop helps people in the different generations better understand each other and work together.  We need less Millennial bashing and fewer “OK Boomer” comments and more leveraging of our different perspectives and work styles.

Expert Interview: Flying Without a Helicopter, with Joanie Connell, Ph.D.

Discover your talent podcast

Discover Your Talent Podcast Interview:

Flying Without a Helicopter

“Helicopter Parenting”—hovering over and doing too many things for your kids, protecting them, and not letting them learn those skills themselves—is leading to problems when they get older and enter the workplace. Corporate executives often complain about younger people coming into the workplace lacking some of the basic life skills that are necessary to succeed, like being independent, resilient, having good communication skills, and creativity.

Why Is This Important?

“Of course, there are pluses and minuses to every style of parenting. On the one hand, when we’re protecting our kids, we’re keeping them safe. But, on the other hand, when we’re overly protective we’re dis-empowering them, unintentionally depriving them of the opportunities they need to do for themselves…  Listen to the interview.

Follow Your Passion & Fly

Check out the new Charlie EpsteinKilling Retirement podcast to learn how to get the job of your dreams.

Show Notes

The second episode of “Killing Retirement” digs deep into the question: “what do you want to do with your life?” and (more importantly) WHY? Joanie’s focusing on the group of parents she calls “helicopter parents” and the children that come from that parenting style.

Guest: Dr. Joanie Connell

Quote of the ‘Cast: “I’m finding a lot of people that get to the workplace and they weren’t as happy as they thought they would be because their helicoptering parents and teachers have been promising them that there’s a wonderful light at the end of the tunnel after they work so hard during their childhood. They get out there and find that they’re at the bottom of the ladder in the corporate world. They’re not having these amazing jobs that they thought they would have and very dissatisfied that the work is a little bit more boring than they thought it would be a lot of times, more tedious, and just not prepared to do these kinds of things because their parents have been helping them out so much as they grew up.”

Yes You Can! 4 Steps to Empowerment

Photo by stockimages from freedigitalphotos.net
Photo by stockimages from freedigitalphotos.net

Feeling stuck? Still living at home? Can’t get the job you want? Not getting ahead at work? Lacking control over your life? Millennials, this post is especially for you. It’s time to take things into your own hands.

These four steps to empowerment are straightforward, but not necessarily easy. You’ll need to gather your courage and tenacity to get through them.

  1. Take Responsibility

The first step is to think of moving forward, not backward. It doesn’t matter whose fault it is that you haven’t done something. Blaming won’t get you anywhere. To empower yourself, you need to admit you haven’t done it and take responsibility for doing it. No excuses.

“Parents can only give good advice or put them on the right paths, but the final forming of a person’s character lies in their own hands.” ― Anne Frank

  1. Take a Step Back

If you haven’t taken action because you don’t know how to, now is the time take a deep breath, be humble, and step backward to learn a skill that you may have missed. It’s far better to pause and learn than to offer yourself and others false expectations for success.

“There is nothing noble in being superior to your fellow man; true nobility is being superior to your former self.” ― Ernest Hemingway

  1. Take the Risk

Empowering yourself is taking charge and facing the consequences. That can be scary and there’s a good chance you’ll make mistakes along the way. Let me tell you a secret: we’ve all been there. Even if you grew up in a seemingly “perfect” household with “perfect” grades, parents, teachers, and bosses alike have all made numerous mistakes. It’s how we’ve gotten to where we are today.

“A ship is always safe at the shore – but that is NOT what it is built for.” ― Albert Einstein

  1. Try Again, and Again

Brace yourself to be resilient as you take risks and make mistakes. You’ll need to pick yourself back up from setbacks and keep a positive attitude as you do it over with the information you learned. It may take several, if not many tries to get it right. Remember Alexander Graham Bell’s 10,000 light bulbs that didn’t work.

“Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.” –Winston Churchill